Alright ladies: real talk. It’s January, and I won’t try to tell you how to lose weight, stay unstressed, or make the best recipes. There is more than enough information out there for that. But I am here to tell you, as you step into this New Year . . . filter your life!
I don’t mean “filter” the way you’re probably imagining. I’m not saying you need to edit every social media post to make your life look like something it’s not. I’m saying, filter your life! Have some standards and refuse to negotiate on those.
I am a single, 28-year-old woman, and let me tell you, today’s dating world is terrifying! I could tell you stories that would make your head spin, make you never want to leave your house again, or make you laugh until you cry. OR, just cry. Believe me. I’ve seen it all.
Yes, I’ve tried online dating. One of the ONLY beautiful things in that world? There are these things called filters. They help you clarify what you’re looking for, so you see only the profiles which meet those parameters. That may sound like way too much forethought for some people, but let me tell you, standards matter.
I’m not saying the potential date must meet a long list of ridiculous criteria. I start pretty basic. He’s got to be tall. (No, I’m not shallow! It’s called #TallGirlProblems!) And, He’s got to be a Christian. I don’t mean that he just checks off “Christian” in the multiple-choice of life. I mean someone who truly lives his faith every day in every situation. That’s just what’s important to me.
Do I have other preferences? Absolutely. But these two things . . . they are my non-negotiables. Now, I could turn off the filters and have more “choices”; but trust me when I say, I will never do that. The filters weed through the masses for me, without me even knowing it, and I’m so grateful.
What would happen if we started to live our lives filtered? I’m not just talking about dating or romantic relationships. Friendships… family… you need to have some standards and non-negotiables for the relationships in your life. Be kind to everyone. But when it comes to the real relationships, the ones with you in the nitty-gritty through every season, make sure they are people that you want running the marathon with you. It’s not a sprint, you know. You need people who believe what you believe. You need people who respect you. You need people who are going to encourage you… who know how to make you laugh… and who will tell you the truth, even when it hurts.
It’s high time we stop accepting toxicity just because it looks good or says what we want to hear. It’s time to stop settling for benign relationships that drain us. They aren’t worth all the love and energy we could be devoting to those who matter. We shouldn’t live this way! We weren’t meant to!
Starting now… filter your life. Truly reflect upon those essential standards. What are the things that matter most to you? They are called non-negotiables for a reason. Don’t lower your standards just because you’re lonely or life gets hard. Don’t compromise who you are just to make someone stay in your life. Tragically, we are more detailed and intentional about our coffee orders than about the people we allow in our lives. God has assigned specific people to your journey to do life with. Don’t settle! Filter on!