Letting Go… and Lessons Learned


“Letting go means being willing to allow life to carry you to a new place, even a deeper, more true rendition of self. Holding on means trying to push life into the place of your making or be damned.”

– Andrea Mathews, LPC

I remain curious about this business of learning to let go and move on. Especially the latter. I mean, what are we moving on with? And how? More clarity, more resolve, more self-awareness, self- acceptance, less guilt, less “stuff”? And so I asked a few in my Circle:

“What have you learned to let go of and what difference has that made in your life?”

J spoke of pondering the question and coming full circle:

It took me a minute to think about this. After several days, I’ve ended up with what first came to mind. Go figure…

It’s taken many, many years and lots of spiritual reflection to do it but I’ve finally let go of the need to live up to my perceptions of others’ expectations of me. I’ve lived my whole life as a “pleaser,” never feeling good enough, despite most people trying to convince me otherwise. Having successfully explored how that came to be my inner voice, I at least was aware that it was there and could make a conscious choice to stop and deal with it instead of responding predictably without even thinking about it.

The bottom line? I’ve given myself a break and am much more content with knowing my capabilities and limitations. I can still be self-deprecating at times, but I catch myself more than I used to. I actually can breathe more easily these days, knowing the only one I really need to please is me.

H pondered current choices and the inner growth ahead:

I recently let go of my role as a teacher.  I have poured my heart into fulfilling this role and I am accepting the fact that my work has made a difference in my students’ lives. However, I had to let go of what I hoped this role would mean for me personally.  I thought that by showing children kindness and care I might heal my own inner child.  I have learned that I need to first love and care for myself.  So, I’m letting go of the idea that it’s selfish to put my energy into myself. I trust it will make a positive difference for myself and others.

I am also letting go of the opportunity to live in one of the most beautiful places I’ve known and a place that was my respite as a child.  In letting go of this physical place, I am acknowledging that the beauty of the place, and the peace it gave me, is deep in my soul.

L went straight to the heart’s core with these words:

I have learned to let go of rejecting myself for not fulfilling goals of a fantasy self, and to encourage the emergence of my real self.  Note: it has taken all my life to recognize who I am, really.

For these wise women, “being carried to a new place” means rediscovering what’s within.


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