Conversations with my BFF: Why Do Some People Pass Through My Life and Others Stay?


 In the course of a lifetime, you will meet people who you think will be part of your life forever, but when those relationships end, you’re left wondering, ‘If I was just going to lose this friend, partner, or spouse, why did they even come into my life?’ I’m so glad you asked…

Let’s begin with a fundamental principle…you don’t meet people by accident. They’re meant to cross your path for a reason.

If a relationship doesn’t last the test of time, it doesn’t mean it still wasn’t meant to be, if just for the time it was. Some people are meant to be blessings and others are meant to be lessons. There’s a purpose for each person you meet. Through much research and talking to my friends, I’ve narrowed it down to just a few reasons why someone is meant to cross your path.

The Bridges in Life

Those in your life that ‘bridge’ you during a time in your life that may be particularly painful, to another place, are part of your pathway of getting you to where you need to go. These people are needed to arrive exactly at the time and place you met them and they move you along to the next level of your journey.

The Roadblocks and Re-Directors in Life

There are some people who come along and delay you for both little things and big things. For example, that lady you meet in line at Target who is slowing up the self check-out and she turns around and sees ‘I want to hear about your life’ on your forehead. You are in a hurry, but she needs someone to listen to how badly her day is going. You oblige for 20 minutes and think, ‘I’m really late now,’ but you know she needed a friend and you were it for that time. Then as you get onto the highway, you see a terrible accident and think, ‘If I had not stopped to talk, I might be the one waiting on the ambulance.’ That hiccup in time when you are delayed may be the moment that saves you from life taking another direction.

The Teachers in Life

Often your tormentors in life do double duty as your mentors. These are the people who teach you important life lessons, usually by the process of pain, which helps you to grow who you are. I read that ‘their crisis pain creates the crisis fuel’ you needed to bring necessary change you didn’t want to put in the effort to make. Then there are those who are just wonderful teachers who show your lessons in a loving manner.

The Angels in Life

I think these are some of the best people who come into your life. These people are here to protect you and remind you to stay safe and self-loving, always remembering your worth and value. They are ‘guardian angels’ of sorts, making sure you don’t stray too far from the path you are meant to be on. They help you in times of need or desperation when others many be scarce. I am very blessed to have quite a few of these.

The Guideposts in Life

The people who come along and remind you to keep pursuing what you want in life, encouraging you to stay on track are the guideposts in your life. They keep you energized, focused and enthusiastic about the next step in life when you may not even want to take that step. When you can’t see that tomorrow will be better, they can and do push you to hang on past the worries of today.

The Tribe Members in Life

When these individuals arrive in your life, realize they are few and far between, but they are the ones who are loyally there for you during tough times and happy times. They see you clearly and accept you, flaws and all. Tribe members support you when you are invisible to others and root for you with a pure heart when others might feel competitive or jealous. They have no agenda and want the best for you. When you succeed, they aren’t threatened, they feel your accomplishments and are as excited as they would be for their own. Hang on tightly to these people.

So don’t ever discount anyone you meet, whether they tarry 15 minutes or a lifetime. They are meant to be part of the tapestry of your life and you theirs. Embrace those short and long timers and appreciate them for what they bring to your life.


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