There I was, plunked down in the driver’s seat, waiting for the short text that would tell me it was my turn to be seen. Why hadn’t I thought this through? It was going on two-and-a-half hours at this point, and I had made two completely avoidable errors: first, I didn’t swing by the Starbucks to break in that new gift card by fueling up. Second, I left ALL of my reading material at home. This is precisely why I rarely clean out my car. Gone was the hand lotion, the three magazines, the book I’m devouring for Book Club. Sure, I had my cell phone, but the battery was low and, let’s be honest, it’s just not the same.
I resorted to walking around the parking lot, dodging the debris and a cluttered landscape of discarded face masks. Bored and annoyed, I grew restless. Let’s get the show on the road already! I thought. The little pesky voice in my head spoke without being prompted:
Of course, you do know that it is your impatience that landed you here in the first place.
I know! But do you have to keep reminding me? I told you: I KNOW.
You may know, but you haven’t learned.
A lot like Siri, she was ticking me off so I shut her down, then grabbed my dying phone to distract me. Once I settled down, I thought about what she said. It was undeniable: she was 100% right. I reached my hands out in front of me as the indisputable confirmation of her wisdom. My left hand – wounded a few months back – had never really healed. No matter, I compensated with my right and carried on. But when I nearly crushed the middle finger on my right, dominant hand in trying to manually close the garage door, I was sunk. I mean, I cook, I clean, I garden, I do yoga, I mess around with Pilates and, let’s not forget, I write for a living. Okay, so instead do what? Use the microwave more and ignore the accumulating dust bunnies. But could I, really?
Hi, it’s me again.
C’mon, cut me some slack! I imagine you’re not here to offer a solution.
The solution is in your hands.
Very funny.
It is good to see that you are thinking of a workaround, but aren’t you missing something?
You’re right. I also need my hands to style my hair, put on my makeup…
All true, but you continue to miss the point.
I do?
What got you into this mess?
Well, the first time, with my left hand…
No, no, no, the mechanics of what happened are less important.
I am referring to the WHY behind this mess you’ve created.
Oh, that.
Until you learn this lesson, you will continue to pay a price for your impatience.
Sometimes I hate her, I do. But she is my higher wisdom, and she is RIGHT: I may know that I need to slow down, but until I do, I will repeat my mistakes. As I get older, the price is steeper. Not to mention the recovery time!
What do you do with your lessons?
Are you listening to your inner wisdom, higher power, she-who-knows-better?
I hope so. And just so you know, you are not alone on this learning journey. I am right there with you, sister!