Do you feel like others are often not really listening to what you have to say? What we say and how we say it is extremely important in communicating effectively with others. There are essentially seven deadly sins that you should avoid in interacting with others. If you do these things, they are not likely to trust you or listen to what you say.
- Gossip
Gossip is habitually revealing personal or sensational information about others. Gossip is bad because it seeks to defame or discredit others. It also destroys your trustworthiness and makes you look bad. According to Eleanor Roosevelt, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
- Judging
Studies suggest it can take the average person as little as seven seconds to judge a person’s character – and this impacts your communication with them. To avoid this, increase awareness of any unconscious biases you may have internalized that may be causing you to make faulty judgments. If you feel yourself judging someone you are interacting with, practice the pause and get back on track.
- Negativity
Negativity is toxic and it impacts others’ attitudes about you. To overcome it, try to recognize when you are becoming negative and flip your thoughts to something you like or look forward to. It also helps to recognize the situations that cause you to be more negative as this will assist in managing your communication.
- Complaining
Complaining is toxic and it corrupts relationships.
- Making Excuses
Excuses are not helpful, and people don’t want to hear them. When you become unwilling to take responsibility for your actions, people will lose respect for you. And when they lose respect for you, they won’t listen to you.
- Exaggeration
Exaggeration is really dishonesty, and it erodes trust.
- Dogmatism
Dogmatism involves representing opinions as facts in an arrogant manner and not considering others’ points of view. It builds barriers instead of building bridges in relationships.
Now that you have the basics of the behaviors that should be avoided in interacting with others, let’s look at some pillars of effective speaking. If you demonstrate these pillars, others are much more likely to trust and respect you – and listen to what you have to say.
Pillar 1 – Be clear and concise
When you initiate communication, think about what you are trying to accomplish (the why) and your audience. Depending on the situation, sometimes it’s even helpful to practice in advance.
Pillar 2 – Be honest
Tell the truth. If you are dishonest, others won’t trust you and consequently they won’t really listen.
Pillar 3 – Show respect
If you show respect to others, they are much more likely to reciprocate. Be open-minded and listen to the other person’s point of view
Pillar 4 – Show care and concern
When you speak to others or give them feedback, make sure it comes from a place of caring and demonstrate empathy. When it doesn’t, others can tell!
Pillar 5 – Listen more than you speak
Use the 80/20 rule – listen 80% and speak 20%.
In conclusion, avoid the seven deadly sins and implement the five pillars to speak so that others will listen attentively!
