by KAYLYN LANIER XIONG photo by AMANDA SUTTON PHOTOGRAPHY
Hey, y’all! It’s me! (It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I hope you’re doing great!) Here’s a question for you: What do you dream about? What do you think about when you’re sleeplessly staring at the ceiling? What hits you in your gut at random times? What is it that you want?
Since I was a little girl, I’ve been a hopeless romantic—actually, more of a hopeful romantic. I spent a lot of time watching old musicals with my grandmother and loving every single ending where the guy got the girl, and they lived happily ever after.
But it never happened for me.
When I say I didn’t date, I mean it! My first real date was in my mid-20s. Believe me, those dates weren’t that great. I kept myself out there on apps just to keep the conversation open. The result? More horrible first dates than I could count. You wouldn’t believe some of them. (I need to write a book one day!) Most of the time I would walk into the coffee shop, see the guy, and just know it was going to be a long hour. It wasn’t anything to do with him (most of the time). Just, none of them were the one.
The year 2017 brought all the hard things. One grandmother rapidly declined from dementia (such an evil disease). My mother suffered a catastrophic accident that required months of healing and rehabilitation. My other grandmother passed suddenly, shockingly, one morning in March. All this, while I was finishing my graduate degree. Dating? Not so much!
That fall, I attended a Chancellor’s barbecue at the university. There, I met a guy. We talked for a few minutes, and…that was it. We became Facebook friends but never really spoke again…
…until we matched on a dating app in 2021.
The whole roller coaster from there has plenty of turns and spirals and hold-your-breath moments (book!). But I am thrilled to share that, this January in 2023, I got to marry that guy in a wedding more perfect than I could have ever imagined. As I’m writing, in our house, I’m listening to him scroll through Instagram videos. It sounds so casual; yet it’s everything I dreamed of. (I know someone out there is so rolling your eyes right now. I get it!) But it’s true. I never needed the extravagant, crazy things. I wanted normal, simple things with a husband who is my best friend. Before, dating or even just talking with other guys felt like a battle. It required so much work and energy. Now, having only been married a few weeks, I’ve been struck by how it all came together.
So, I’m sharing this testimony for all the single ladies scrolling through dating apps and wondering where all the good guys are. I know it feels so patronizing, hearing “They’re out there if you’ll just be patient.” I’ve been there. But I’m telling you, they’re out there, and not just “good guys” but the guy that God has for you. I had the audacity to believe that. I waited. God showed up and showed out, y’all! I’ve seen Him do it too many times for me to doubt Him.
Maybe you’re not waiting for a guy. Maybe it’s a job, a breakthrough, a family member, a baby…whatever it is that seems impossible. Don’t listen to the crazy mantras that say, “You need to manifest it.” That’s not how it works. Align yourself with God your Father in Heaven. Let His desires become your desires. I promise you, as Scripture says, “He will give you the desires of your heart.” It’s all true, for our good and His Glory!