Conversation with Your BFF: ‘How Should I Handle My Recent Breakup?’

We’ve all been through breakups, some better and more amicable than others, but they all can leave major emotional damage in their wake. There are some dos and don’ts of how best to deal with a breakup. So ‘What should I never, ever do after a breakup?’ I am so glad you asked!

Begging is for Dogs

There’s nothing worse than begging for someone’s attention or to give you a second chance. Women, unfortunately, are the worst at doing this. We think if we were just given another go with our significant other we could make it work. I’m telling you, do not beg for a second chance. Begging makes you look weak and rather pathetic and you are better than that!

Don’t Casually Ask Mutual Friends about Your Ex

Putting your friends in the role of reporting back to you about your ex isn’t fair to your friends and it doesn’t do you any good in moving on from the relationship. Your friends will start to dread talking to you because they know you will be pumping them for information. You should value your friends more than that because they have been by your side, so spend time with them and make sure your ex doesn’t get mentioned.

Make Yourself a Priority Again

As women, when we are in relationships, the significant other tends to take all our time and we focus on their good and not ours. We will sacrifice things and activities that bring us happiness to do something that makes the one we love happy. When the ex is out of the picture, if you have let yourself go, take a breath, and start to spend time with friends and doing things that you haven’t done in a while. Get to know yourself again!

Put Your Phone Away When You Are Drinking

Drunk texting or calling is one of the worst things you can do after a breakup! As we all know, we aren’t at our best when we are ‘under the influence.’ Decisions made at low moments in our lives, fueled by alcohol, are always bad ones. Put your phone in a drawer while you are drinking.

Revenge is NEVER a Good Idea

If you have ever thought, ‘If I could just get back at him, I’d feel so much better!’ No matter how good that sounds, it is worse than drunk texting. Revenge always has a way of backfiring and getting you into some serious trouble and you will look pretty pathetic to not only your ex, but also those friends who have told you ‘let it go!’

Don’t Try and be Best Friends with Your Ex

I know your intentions are good and you just want to bury the hatchet, so to speak, but rushing into being friends with your ex will only set you up for some major heartbreak. Case in point… my ex and I thought we could be a sounding board for each other since we had an amicable split, but he took that a bit far. He called me to discuss a crazy woman, his words not mine, that he was dating. Our conversations did nothing to make me feel good about myself or the fact that I was once married to a guy for many years who would tolerate a woman who was sending wedding pics from magazines with her face photoshopped onto the bride and my ex’s face as the groom. Yes, there are nuts like this out there, not just on DATELINE!!! I finally told him to stop sharing with me anything that didn’t pertain to the divorce or things we still shared. 

No matter how well you and your ex handled your breakup, step away and move on! You deserve better and should start the next chapter in your life as soon as you turn the page with your ex. Period.


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