Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Why is it easy to be our own biggest enemy? Let’s be honest, many of us want to be perfect. We want the ideal career, the best hair, quality intelligence, the best wardrobe, and to be the best speaker we can be. We set very high, and sometimes unrealistic, expectations of ourselves and what we want to become. When we come up short, we naturally scorn ourselves for not being “good enough.” We want the best, and most of the time it’s easier to blame ourselves for our mistakes because we’re the ones who made them. But if we were our own best friend instead of our biggest enemy, we would see a massive difference in our selves and our lives.


No matter how many great people we meet in life, we can be sure that no one takes care of us the way we care for ourselves. Only we know our deepest needs and yearnings; our greatest strengths and weaknesses; and what we need to do to press forward towards our goals. Becoming intimate with ourselves is the first step to becoming our own best friend.


  1. Get to know yourself. Just like you had to get to know your best friend in high school before you two became close, you must get to know yourself intimately. Assess your areas of interest, gifts, and talents, all your favorites, passions, even what you look for in a spouse. If it helps at all, start a journal—either an old-fashioned paperback journal or a private video journal and see how much you learn about yourself.
  2. Seek out your positive qualities. What do you like about yourself? What are your favorite characteristics, physical or personality-wise? Make a list of all the things you admire about yourself and everything you are good at and imagine how you will be without them. This will help you be more appreciative of your characteristics that you (and others) may take for granted. See how you can put them to use every day for yourself and others. Think about how far those positive qualities will get you in life and especially how they relate to your life’s purpose.
  3. Talk to yourself. Have one-on-one conversations with yourself about anything at all (this sharpens intelligence). Give yourself encouragement and compliments. Motivate yourself on a bad day. Start telling yourself in the morning that you have the capability to face the day ahead. Tell yourself, “You look stunning!” before walking out of the house even if you must doll yourself up to do so. Tell yourself the same thing even when you’re at home with no makeup on! Speaking positivity into yourself eventually transforms your countenance. Most folks may believe self-talk makes one look insane, but it’s even more insane to not engage in it.
  4. Challenge yourself every day. Whether big or small, challenges are something we should embrace because they only carve personal growth and development. Face a fear or anxiety, no matter what it is. Compliment a stranger. Meet a higher sales goal at work. Learn a difficult language. Read a book that is outside of your comfort zone. Nobody grows in a static lifestyle.
  5. Stop comparing! Nothing steals joy quicker than comparing oneself to another. Nothing breeds insecurity or inadequacy like comparison. Once you realize your own greatness and focus on your own work and personal growth, and that nobody can walk out your calling like you can, you won’t feel the need to compare.
  6. Spend some quality time with yourself. Don’t be ashamed to treat yourself to a movie, a manicure/pedicure, dinner by yourself, or even a weekend getaway. This will give you relaxation and time to reflect and meditate.
  7. Take care of your mind and body. Keep your body and mind in shape with exercise, healthy eating, and meditation.
  8. Be honest with yourself. Not in a self-deprecating way, but in a healthy way. If you know you made a mistake, own up to it and don’t blame others. Be honest about your flaws and how you can improve them. Just like a best friend is real with you, you must keep it real with yourself!

Becoming your own best friend is essential to your well-being and a promising future!


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