Choose To Be Happy
You know who they are. You admire them and sometimes feel a twinge of envy for them, too. They are “the happy ones,” people who seem to float through their days with effortless grace and a genuinely positive attitude. You may wonder how they do it, puzzled by their apparent joy, baffled by its seeming constancy. You may even know that they, like you, have their burdens to bear and yet, they are “happy.”
What’s In It For You
But, guess what? Being “happy” isn’t reserved for a chosen few. Okay, you’re feeling skeptical and maybe thinking: “they must have been born that way” or “it’s their personality.” Well, there is something to that. But, just as real is the fact that happy, as a state of being and a frame of mind, is available to everyone, if we choose it. Stay with me on this, please, because there is a great deal in it for you.
Happy isn’t simply a “nice to have.” Research shows an indisputable link between a happy, positive attitude and:
- a stronger immune system that allows you to ward off illness and disease.
- better health habits rooted in being motivated to take care of yourself.
- increased longevity; a longer life.
Besides these major benefits, studies also reveal what we already intuitively know – happy people generally have better relationships, do well at work and are just plain easier to be around.
The Science Of Happy
But, back to the premise that we are born with our happiness quotient signed, sealed and delivered. Well, according to Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, each of us does indeed have a “happiness set point.” She suggests that this genetic component may account for 50% of our happiness; 10% can be attributed to our life circumstances; and a full 40% is – you guessed it – up for grabs. Dr. Richard Davidson, who specializes in “happy brains” couldn’t agree more: “Our brains are just waiting to be transformed, and they’re always being transformed. But, we can take responsibility and change the brain in more positive ways.”
If happiness is largely within our control, then isn’t the pursuit of it – or more of it – worth a shot? Don’t most of us deeply crave this thing called “happy?” Harvard University thought so highly of the merits of happy that they began offering a course on it in 2006. However, we don’t have to attend a prestigious university to explore the underpinnings of happiness; we simply need to be willing to learn from “The Happy.”
Learning From The Happy
Lyubomirsky has identified 12, yes 12 things that “happy people” do differently – some of which may come as a bit of a surprise. Take a look and consider which of these “happy habits” you already practice and which you might consider exploring.
- Gratitude: Appreciating all the good things you already have.
- Optimism: Learning from hard knocks and remaining focused on the positive.
- Avoid over-thinking and social comparison: a win-lose game, at best.
- Random acts of kindness: Kindness makes you feel good and tends to be contagious.
- Social relationships: Relationship and connection.
- Coping strategies: Developed and at the ready for when stuff happens.
- Forgiveness: To heal your own immune system.
- “Flow” experiences: Where you are completely engaged, in the zone.
- Savoring joy: Appreciating the magic in the moment.
- Working your goals: Experiencing what you can be and do!
- Spirituality: Feeling connected to meaning beyond ourselves.
- Take care of your body: Physical well being contributes to overall well being.
Personally, I found several strengths and two “really big” opportunities. I need to sit with this for a spell, to think about how my happy habits have served me, and how I have undermined my experience of happy in specific ways. But, there are two things I know for sure – my happiness is within my control and, yes, within my reach. I believe the same for you, too. Go ahead, start taking better care of yourself. Begin with happy.
