“Is this a museum, Aunt Lynda?”
“Well, not exactly. It’s my house.”
“You live here? Cool….”
That sweet girl – a New York city child who mistook my friend’s home for a museum – was on to something. Her Grand Aunt’s tiny Victorian home in a small, sleepy Massachusetts town is anything but typical. Layered in the aesthetics of the 19th century, it feels out of time in the best way. But, it is not a museum. It’s Lynda’s world, culled from her sensibilities, taste and style. Complete, I might add, with an antique chamber pot which I swear I’ve never used!
Most of our homes don’t read as museums, and we wouldn’t want them to. My own is a bit of Paris apartment verve colliding with English country house warmth. My home and Lynda’s are about one thing – sanctuary. As I sat with that concept a bit, I realized that most of the women in my innermost circle are sanctuarians. Okay, well apparently, there is no such word, but the root word, sanctuary, refers to a refuge, shelter or haven – a place for keeping sacred things, a shrine. Each of us has created just that, taking the concept of home to a deeper level. The sanctuary home of my bestie in Arizona has an utterly unique vibe – combining her love for glamour with a deep reverence for her adopted southwestern roots. Cocooned in her space, I am embraced by who she is at her core because what I experience is utterly authentic.
Home as sanctuary isn’t about:
spending a fortune;
following a formula;
caring about what other people think;
or creating something overtly “religious.”
Instead, it’s about cultivating your personal space in a way that grounds your being and supports your spirit, and that starts with tapping into what refuge, haven and shrine mean to you. The beauty in this way of thinking is that your sanctuary evolves with you. Case in point, for the past few years, I’ve welcomed the return of the hummingbirds with a small, plastic hummingbird feeder. It was, you know, fine. But, when I realized how much joy those whimsical little creatures brought to my outdoor space, I decided an upgrade was in order. Now a jewel-like, spherical, red glass feeder welcomes them to our shared sanctuary while grounding me in reverent observation.
Curious about being or being more of a sanctuary woman, about forging a fresh relationship with the place that holds you in this world? Here are a few thoughts to get you started:
- Create clarity by creating space. Yes, it’s another way of saying declutter! Choose a method from the many you can find online or just trust your gut and begin anywhere. Trust me, it’s worth it.
- Think in terms of the feelings you’d like to experience in your sanctuary. Perhaps it’s joy, tranquility, serendipity, balance, immersion, inspiration, creative energy. You decide.
- Identify what you’d like to include or highlight in your space. Maybe it’s a spot for yoga or a prominent way to display your treasured books. Maybe it’s featuring the artwork you’ve collected for years but never quite got around to placing just so. Some sanctuary women have included homages or “shrines” to loved ones who have passed. Mine is a quiet, Asian jewelry box that contains mementos from or about people who I will love forever. My bestie has a shadow box of personal items that belonged to her mother.
- Consider your senses. What would you like to see, smell, touch, hear? Maybe even taste? I recently invested in my first set of bamboo sheets in a cool, calming, eucalyptus shade – oh, the joy! And, on a still-too-warm autumn day, I turn down the blinds and ask Siri to find me some afternoon jazz. You see? That’s sanctuary building!
I imagine that the small girl who was mesmerized by her aunt’s “museum” will one day create her own bespoke sanctuary. In fact, I’d bet on it.
