Recovering from Rugged, Rough, and Rocky Real-ationships


Let’s be real about real-ationships. They are not perfect and neither are we; and sometimes, they can be beyond rugged, rough, and rocky. If bad memories of negative experiences still linger in your mind and weigh heavily on your heart, please know you’re not alone. Even if you’re still struggling with letting go, remember that it’s a process, but one you can achieve with time, hard work, and yes, plenty of patience. To fully move forward, we may need to make peace with our past in order to make the most of our futures.

Even if you’ve struggled with an abusive relationship and have suffered through hell on earth from what someone else has put you through, you can recover and repair. As a strong believer everything happens for a reason, including everyone who comes into our lives, one of the greatest things you can do is glean life lessons that transform you into a stronger person.

Although there’s no guarantee you won’t make the same mistake(s) again, you can set yourself up for success simply by shifting your mindset with a healthier perspective. The more you can make peace with what and who have held you back, the freer you are to move forward without emotional bondage or baggage. Delve deeper into your relationships with yourself and others as you learn and grow from them.

We are complex people, like onions, with multiple layers of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are often difficult to decode and be misinterpreted. It’s easy to let even the littlest of things get under your skin and it may take a lot to let go of these unwanted feelings that only weigh us down. But, instead of feeling like a victim, consider reflecting like a psychologist. Although it may be painful initially, try to pinpoint negative feelings and track back to what caused them.

No need to get bogged down overanalyzing your relationship and dwell on what didn’t work out, but sometimes reevaluating what you liked and didn’t and what worked and what didn’t can help you achieve a greater understanding and adopt a healthier perspective.

Be as kind and patient with yourself and others as possible. Good things often take time, but know you are on the right track wanting the best for your life.

Here’s a checklist to help your life improve as you focus on one area at time:

  • Forgiveness and making peace with the past will help you move on as you focus on the now and plan for a bright and promising future.
  • Build a supportive network of those you love, trust, and can rely on to help you through even the toughest of times.
  • Know yourself, reflect on and communicate your deepest thoughts, feelings, and desires, and practice self-care that makes you feel healthier, more healed, and whole.
  • Redefine and write down your vision, mission, values, and goals to review daily.
  • Break unhealthy habits and eliminate a negative self-image and self-talk, substituting with positive affirmations.
  • Instead of depriving yourself, reward yourself for your progress and accomplishments, appreciate who you naturally are, and celebrate even small successes.
  • Keep hopeful and faithful, always grateful for opportunities and blessings, some of which may be in disguise. Focus on not taking anything personally and utilizing every perceived mistake and failure as an invaluable life lesson enabling you to learn and grow.
  • Write down an ongoing list of what makes you happiest and what’s most meaningful to you, then focus on doing and attracting more of that.
  • Write down a list of what detracts from your happiness and takes away from valuable time so you can focus on avoiding and eliminating those items.
  • Clean and organize your environment to get rid of clutter, dirt, and bacteria and help you feel more in control of your household and life.
  • Focus on inner healing on multiple levels, including energy healing, breath work, massage, reflexology, and aromatherapy, and detoxing.
  • Boost your immune system with adaptogens, prebiotics, and probiotics.
  • Take your vitamins, herbal supplements, and medications regularly and consistently.





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