It’s long been recognized that loving others begins with loving oneself. The same can be said of self-care, a natural extension of self-love. And yet, despite our best efforts, we tend to let this critical practice drop to the bottom of our ever-expanding “To Do” lists. The festering problem is that, when self-neglect chips away at self-care, we run out of steam – emotionally and physically.
I struggle with this, too. I can find a thousand things to tend to rather than turning on YouTube and working out with a smiling, energetic and uber-fit Pilates or Yoga guru. I’ll click off and tell myself that I’ll do it tomorrow. But, with self-care as my focus, I’ve developed a new strategy that’s working! I select an eight- or 10-minute session because I know that something is always better than nothing. With the end game in near sight, I push myself through. Nine times out of 10, I feel pumped enough to try another short session, mixing things up with a different instructor. Before I know it, I’ve clocked 20 or 30 minutes – which is so much better than nothing at all!
My dear friend, author, counselor and hypnotist Meg Reilly advocates fiercely for self-care and goes way beyond simply marking National Self Care Day:
“I encourage you to spend the next month focusing on compassion for yourself. You cannot take care of those that you love if you are not in good health yourself. You cannot contribute to your community or make your mark on the world if you do not begin with compassion for yourself. Be sure that you are attending carefully and honestly to your own mental and physical health. Put yourself first. This may sound selfish or simply impossible. It’s neither. It doesn’t have to be anything that’s huge or hard or all-in-all-at-once. Find small ways and persist. In order to live the golden rule – to love your neighbor as you love yourself – you have to love yourself. Do the inward work first. You can.”
Yes indeed: you can. Here’s how:
Put Your Name On It
Begin by giving yourself a good 20 or 30 minutes to write down those activities that help you to feel calm, confident or content. I love this trio of words because, together, they conjure up a variety of appealing activities which are the beginning of a personal template, a self-care prescription that has your name on it.
Identify a Few “Staying In” Activities
Consider:
- Cozying up with magazines and a cup of Chai tea
- Walking or stretching
- Putting on some soothing music or tunes from “your era”
- Buying yourself some flowers that will smile back at you
- Watching that movie you’ve been dying to see
- Teaching yourself a new skill
Identify a Few “Going Out” Activities
Consider:
- Visiting one of our cool W-S bookstores or going to a museum for inspiration
- Taking yourself out on a day trip – treating it like a date with yourself
- Scheduling a true spa day that you can look forward to
- Taking yourself to a nice lunch
- Window shopping to fill your head with new stimulation and creative input
Now, translate these ideas into commitments by scheduling a few near-term activities. Then move to your longer-term calendar. Maybe one Sunday a month becomes a self-care day. Or one day a quarter is reserved for self-care. You may have Personal Time Off, or PTO, from work. While you may typically spend this time with your family, or on vacation, why not zero in on a few days that are all about you taking care of yourself? My sister, a medical social worker, schedules one day a quarter to slow down, to regroup, to recharge from within. And she definitely takes herself out to lunch! Figure out what will work for you. Remember: It’s your prescription; it has your name on it!
National Self Care Day is a prompt to remind us to take a break and take care of ourselves – even in small ways and with small starts.
