Keeping It Real: The Lies Of Loneliness

One in five people surveyed admit they are lonely – really lonely. It surprises me, yet it doesn’t.

We are more linked to each other than at any time since the beginning of time. No matter the geographical divide or passing of time, we can engage relationships from every era of our journey. Previous coworkers…folks from grade school…even distant relatives blitz our social media feeds daily.

Ironically, in this excessively connected culture, people have never felt more alone. For many of us, the holidays tend to magnify that struggle.

This sense of detachment is not limited to one demographic. Some studies reveal that college students struggle most with feelings of aloneness. Other research suggests divorcees and single parents combat the severest sense of isolation. Still other reports cite the elderly as those most harshly affected by this pervasive pain.

God said from the beginning, “It’s not good for mankind to be alone.” He knew that chronic isolation is never healthy. We need moments of solitude to recharge us. (He said that, too!) But when we retreat for prolonged periods of time, our minds begin to play tricks on us. We start buying into the lies of loneliness.

Loneliness doesn’t come from being alone. It comes from feeling alone.

As we struggle with this consuming emotion, we first convince ourselves that no one understands what we face or how we feel. Or, if they did get who we really are, they would run for the hills. Friend, that’s a lie. No, not everyone will understand. But someone will.

Another lie of loneliness? “Things will never get better.” This feels crushing, but it is sheer nonsense. We only remain in the hole if we refuse the help God sends. He promises you that He has good plans for you. He won’t leave you alone. Not a chance!

Finally, loneliness deceives us into believing that every area of our life is sinking, fast. When one piece begins to wobble, we feel as if every piece is crumbling. But hear me: It’s an illusion. It’s a lie.

They are all flat-out lies!

They come from the “Father of Lies.” That’s satan’s name. Look it up! (I can’t bring myself to capitalize his name!) This enemy fights to control the conversation in your head because if he gains that access, he hijacks how you see your situation.

Hell intends to wind you into such a self-defeating, vicious thought-cycle that it pushes you deeper into the pit of despair.

Prolonged Loneliness →Depression →Detachment →Despair

Once you arrive at despair’s doorstep, the father of lies has won complete control of your conversations with yourself. The lies play on ‘repeat’ and trap you in a spiral.

Truthfully, seasons of difficulty test our most honest belief about the nature of God. If hell can get us to doubt God’s Presence, then doubt His Goodness, we will ultimately believe every other lie, too.

Listen, Friend! Loneliness is not forever…but regrets are. God has not come to reprimand you for your doubt. He whispers encouragement into your soul this day: “I see you. I hear your every cry. I love YOU, not the façade of you, but YOU. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Don’t miss your NEXT because you don’t feel like you can handle your NOW!

This Good God has come to speak softly into the secret places of your heart this day, “Your best is not behind you. The most meaningful season of your life is in front of you! You do not walk alone. Let’s do this together!”

Don’t mourn the life you imagined so long that you miss the life you have and God’s best that is coming.

God is our Shelter and our Strength. When troubles seem near, GOD IS NEARER, and He’s ready to help. So why run and hide? (Psalm 46:1)

You can do this! You may feel alone, but you are never alone!

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at



Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Stay up to date with our events and get exclusive article content right to your inbox!

Latest Stories

Other Featured Articles


All Article in Current Issue

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Stay up to date with our events and get exclusive article content right to your inbox!