Keeping It Real: “WHY?”

Have you ever found yourself in a battle that threatens to topple everything you cherish off its very foundation? Maybe you are contending for your family, or your future; whatever it is, everything that can be shaken seems to be shaking!

In those moments, anxiety tries to seize your soul without reprieve. The longer the crisis lingers, desperation metastasizes like a cancer, attacking any hope left in your heart. At this point, the battle no longer rages aroundyou. It now wages war withinyou.

The intensity of the crisis seeks to undermine everything you believe about God. You wrestle with thoughts and doubts you assumed were already settled in you. Your absolute certainty about the One who cannot shake begins shaking! Hear me: Hell’s goal is to destabilize your very core and dismantle you from the inside out!

In these seasons, some folks rather stoically insist that you should never ask God “Why?” (as if your Everlasting Father would get angry and cut you off or something).

After years of walking hand in hand with this Good Father, I’ve come to realize that when a devoted son or daughter asks questions from a heart of intimate and loving relationship, God is never put off by our “Why?” In fact, this Lover of our souls welcomes our questions.

Think about this. In Jesus’ deepest agony, He cried out to the Father, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” Essentially, God’s Son pleaded, “Where are You?” or “Why is this happening?”

Jesus uttered these words in the hour of His greatest struggle. Like us, He reached a place that surpassed His natural capacity to comprehend. Notice, God didn’t rush in with all the answers when Jesus cried out “Why?” Answers were not what Jesus needed in that moment.

Sometimes we convince ourselves we urgently need our questions answered, as if mere understanding will alleviate the pain. In our agonizing moments, God knows that answers will not help or heal us.

It’s His very Presence that we need most.

Even in His greatest sorrow and abandonment, Jesus remained surrendered to God, trusting the One He could not understand.

We know how the story ends. Jesus conquered death and the grave, triumphed over every semblance of defeat. But can we forget we know that for a moment? If we linger where Jesus tarried, in that place of greatest despair, we realize that He understands us in our own places of profound pain. Jesus has truly stood in our place. As our advocate, He empathizes with the intensity of our struggle (Hebrews 4:15). In His deepest being, Jesus knows EXACTLY how we feel. He identifies with our wrestling and meets us right here with our anguished questions.

So, it’s ok to feel as fragile as a child crying in the darkness. When we call on His Name, the One who knows exactly how we feel comes to us and brings what we need most . . . the gift of Himself. As He hovers, we realize we don’t need to cling to all the answers. The One who IS the answer lovingly clings to us.

Time and again, His Presence assures my quivering soul that even when I walk through the valley of deepest darkness, I need not be afraid. He is with me. He will not leave me (Psalm 23:4). I don’t hold the answers, but THE Answer holds me!

Friend, He’s got you, and He’s got this. Let Him wrap you in Himself, then rest in knowing everything is going to be all right. You WILL get to the other side of this, and you will not do it alone!

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at


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