I’m a Flirt!

Have you ever wondered if there were different styles of flirting? Absolutely! A sociological study from 2010—still relevant now—confirmed five different styles of flirting: the sincere flirt, the physical flirt, the playful flirt, the polite flirt, and the traditional flirt. It is likely that our flirting style matches our personalities as well, and can attract future spouses – that is, if they speak your flirting language or if they are at least intrigued by it. Here are the five unique flirting styles, confirmed by Match.com!


The sincere flirt doesn’t play around. They prefer to be straightforward and have normal conversation. They may ask you deep, yet harmless questions to get to the core of who you really are. Although some people may find this style boring, intense, or may not even perceive it as flirting, it has been discovered that this is the most common flirting method. The sincere flirt is likely an intellectual who loves to engage in thought-provoking, meaningful, even philosophical conversations. They want to dive deep into the abyss and get to know the core of their date, which can sometimes be overbearing at the first few encounters. Revealing too much about oneself on, say, the first date can be a turnoff. So it is important for the sincere flirt to take things slowly and lightly and wait to get to know each other more before getting too deep.


Just like how that little 8-year-old girl constantly pokes that one boy she likes in class, the physical flirt likes to connect with their target by touching. They may touch your arm or your knee as they’re laughing at a joke you just made. They may compliment your outfit while gently tugging at your sleeve. This physical type of flirting is highly suggestive and may send an undesirable message to someone who is not interested, especially if they communicate like the sincere flirt. It is vital to try to get to know each other better before taking things to the next level.


This flirt is completely opposite from the sincere flirt. The playful type flirts to gain a reward, not for love. They are known to be a bit manipulative with their flirting. For instance, if they want a free dessert, they may playfully flirt with the waiter until he gives in. Or they may flirt for free entry to get into the lounge. The playful flirt is never really interested in anyone but uses their flirting style to get their way. So, keep your eyes open around a playful flirt!


The polite flirt takes things very slowly and cautiously. They can move so slow that one may not even know if they are interested! They show their interest in a matter of days, weeks, or even months. They are introverted and shy people who plan out their next moves. They are not interested in flirting and awkward dating. They may show their interest in saying “Hello” with a smile, coy eye contact that seems constant, and maybe just smiling your way and quickly looking away when your eyes meet theirs. They are normally found in quiet, low key areas such as bookstores, art galleries, and coffee shops. But rest assured, they are certainly interested and are waiting on you to make that first move!


This is what I like to call the “old skool” flirt! A traditionalist female would wait for the man to make the first move if he is interested. And a traditionalist male would not find it acceptable at all if the woman makes the first move, so he goes after his future wife while she waits to be swept away by his chivalry! The traditional flirt adheres by standard gender roles: the guy asks the girl out for a date by phone rather than text message, he pays for dinner, and drives her—or walks her—back home and leans in for the kiss. The woman’s reciprocation for the man’s charm is reinforcement that he’s doing well. She returns the favor simply by answering the phone when he calls or just by buying something nice.

So which flirt are you?


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