If I asked:

“How important is it for people to be helpful to one another at work?”

How would you respond?

Well, I have asked that question of many employees – people like you and me – and most quickly say: “Extremely, of course!” We know from our own lived experience that help from the people around us, in the many forms we receive it, is essential to our individual and team success.   

Help Makes the Difference

Just ask McKinsey researcher Adam Grant who contends that, “The amount of help a group’s members give one another is among the strongest predictors of group effectiveness.” Consider that, after 9/11, a team of Harvard psychologists studied what makes intelligence units effective, concluding:

“The single strongest predictor of group effectiveness was the amount of help that analysts gave to each other.” 

Certainly, the circumstances that engendered these findings were singular and extreme. And yet, the impact resonates with our own experience of working through complex problems and challenging customer situations. Psychologists Stella Anderson and Larry Williams discovered that:

“Direct requests for help between colleagues drive 75 to 90 percent of all the help exchanged within organizations.”

That’s right – when in need at work and on the job, we turn to one another. 

The Experience of Being Helpful

So, let’s take a more personal look. You’ve certainly asked a coworker, “Anything I can do to help?” or simply “Need help?” Now, what made you feel good about offering that help? Perhaps you’d say: 

• I used my skills and strengths.
• I drew from actual experience.
• I invested in the outcome.
• I helped my team’s results.
• I invested in the relationship with my co-worker.
• I helped my coworker solve a problem.
• I helped my coworker develop.
• I felt good about contributing.
• I felt good about myself.

It feels good to help, and being part of a dynamic and passionate team that fires you up can also fuel your helpfulness! 

Why Don’t We Ask for Help? 

We know that being helpful is good for our relationships, our customers’ experience and our business results. And, while we may be more than ready to provide help, asking for it is sometimes more of a challenge. You may not ask for help for practical reasons:  

• You don’t know who to ask: There is a subject matter expert out there somewhere, but you don’t know who that is.
• You don’t want to take advantage of others: Your coworkers have enough to do.

More commonly, a reluctance to ask for help is rooted in how you think and what you believe: 

• You’ve been “taught” that asking for help is a sign of weakness – and that doesn’t feel good.
• You don’t want to look foolish or incompetent: You don’t want to lose face. 

Let’s Rethink This

These are realistic barriers, but they are surmountable when you reframe how you think about asking for help. For example:

• Information and expertise are everywhere; it’s a matter of scouting them out. Begin to consciously identify each person’s strengths. Hmmm…Carlos is great with the new processing software. And Jenna has nailed the problem resolution protocol. And nobody generates sales leads like Cherise. Exactly! Your coworkers possess a pool of wisdom, talent and expertise that they are almost always willing to share, to help with. Just be sure to reciprocate when they need your help. 
• Your coworkers have a lot on their plate. So, make it easier for them to help you by being respectful of their time. Hey, Cherise…you are so awesome at generating sales leads. Do you think I can pick your brain for a few minutes at lunch sometime this week? New skillsets take time to develop, so plan accordingly; be intentional and strategic with your requests for help.
• Our beliefs are the hardest to change. Consider what you know about the power of giving and receiving help at work. Imagine help as a network of information, support and goodwill that operates nonstop between people all the time. You can participate in this exchange when you begin to see that doing so is a sign of strength, professionalism and your personal commitment to growth and development.  

Help given and help received is powerful. It is key to expanding expertise, solving difficult problems, sharing the load and reinforcing our sense of team. Embrace it!