It’s March, and if you’re reading this on a cold, wet, windy day, you may be feeling a bit antsy, eager to shed the layers and to throw yourself into the promising season ahead. I knew once February passed that I’d have to counter these familiar pangs of restless anticipation in a productive way. So, I decided to shift gears by thinking about how I’d made my life better over the past few months and landed on a few predictable things: I’d gotten back on track with eating right and getting in my exercise. And, I’d acquired a luscious, diverse stack of books to devour over the next few months, along with several new recipes to try. Pretty good! But, there is one rather unexpected way that I’d improved my life – and it all started back in early December.
As our family and closest friends live hither and yon, we spend a good deal of time at the post office mailing letters, gifts and personalized packages of all sorts. But this holiday, my husband, Dean, decided that rather than go the predictable, easy online shopping route, he would begin letting go of treasured items by giving them to loved ones now. A beautiful pencil drawing he had sketched up in Cape Cod nearly 20 years ago came off our wall to be carefully packaged and shipped. So went an antique beer tankard and even a couple of large-scale floral paintings. All I could think of was “WOW!” It wasn’t at all lost on me that these weren’t things bound for Goodwill; they were precious in some unique way.
Moved by Dean’s act of meaningful generosity, I began to consider the treasures that I wanted others to enjoy. Yes, it’s customary to bequeath “the good stuff” upon one’s passing, but “why not let go and gift what I have right now?” I quickly observed that Dean’s unexpected generosity was deeply felt by those on the receiving end of his unexpected gifting.
As usual, when moved by fresh insight and stirred to action, I called my sister:
“You know that garnet ring I bought at the Czech center in Cedar Rapids way back when?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“I want to give it to Megan.” (My sister’s daughter)
“Aww, that’s sweet.”
“No, I mean that I want to give it to her now, surprise her. And, if it doesn’t fit, she can give it to Holly.” (My sister’s granddaughter)
“Wow. That is really cool. She will be so surprised.”
Okay, so you may be thinking that this “strategy” is just another spin on decluttering. Well, yes, in a purely practical way, it is. But there’s a difference: when you let go of something that has emotional resonance for you, that has a story behind it, you gift a piece of your heart.
As we grapple with our abundance – maybe even our embarrassment of riches – against the backdrop of life with an expiration date, we can choose letting go instead of holding on. It’s why an antique necklace found its way to a friend who had admired it, as did those brocade Prada platform shoes that can be enjoyed by my niece in the here and now, instead of wistfully gathering dust in the museum of yesterday’s shoe closet.
I know I’ll make several new choices in 2024 that will contribute to making my life better. Near the top of the list will be gifting…and letting go.
