Just the other day, I had a moment when the physical reality of aging lodged in my head and messed with my attitude. I hate when one negative thought takes off, growing into an entire field of weeds in my mind. 

It all started with a jar of pickles. After several fruitless attempts to remove the lid with my right hand, then my left, I brought out the heavy artillery – first a spoon, bang, bang. Nothing. Then a knife to pry under the seam – easy does it. Nope, it wasn’t budging. That’s when I woke my dear man up from his nap (yes, I did!) and asked if he could wrangle the top off. He, too, struggled but finally succeeded. 

Initially, I believed it was the hardest thing either of us accomplished that day. But, I was wrong. The much harder “thing” was grappling with that field of weeds – the flood of negative thoughts about aging – that this tiny incident managed to incite in my brain. 

Come on, Jean Marie, you know full well that people with more positive attitudes about aging tend to live longer and healthier lives than those who harbor negative thoughts about getting old.

Of course, it wasn’t just the neuropathy in my hands, or the hernia I’ve yet to deal with, or the…well, never mind; you get the picture. It was about seeing myself as an ever-expanding compendium of age-related troubles and losses. That’s what was getting to me. To shift my “stinkin’ thinkin’” I brought to mind: 

• My mom who lived to 88 with full throttle joy despite her many, many challenges.

• My same age and quite a bit older friends who continue to run businesses, traveI abroad, write books and participate in senior triathlons – just to name a few of their adventures.

I suspect that every one of us will look in the mirror, take a fall or receive a diagnosis that sparks the fuel of negativity about our process of aging. Just as the dang pickle jar incident did for me which is precisely why we need to be prepared when it does. Thinking about people who are aging with a positive attitude as their True North is my place to start. Beyond that, what works for me is:

Reviewing the chapters of my life through a handy pair of rose-colored glasses. I am very much a realist, so when those negative thoughts about aging creep in, I pivot to the many joys that have accompanied me at every stage in my life journey.

I also challenge myself to authentically appreciate who I am right now. No, the stomach is no longer ironing board flat, but dang if I can’t kill a Pilates workout three mornings a week! Gratitude for what I have weathered, what I can do and who I am now, helps me to like, even to love the current me.

Based on his extensive research on perceptions of aging and their impact on well-being, Colorado State University Professor Dr. Manfred Diehl offers a variety of ways to adopt a more positive attitude toward your own aging process. I’ve summarized his suggestions here: 

1. Stay physically active – at least 30 minutes of movement or exercise every day is ideal.
2. Engage your brain in mentally challenging activities, and never stop learning new things.
3. Adopt a lifestyle focused on healthy eating, getting enough sleep, managing weight and not drinking in excess or smoking.
4. Stay connected to other people by nurturing relationships with your partner, family, friends, neighbors and others in the community, including young people.
5. Create positive emotions for yourself and learn to feel good about your age.
6. Accept what you cannot do and ask for help when needed. Don’t sweat the small stuff, like stuck pickle jars.
7. Set goals for yourself, and take control of the steps needed to achieve them.
8. Minimize stress! Practice healthy coping techniques and learn to relax and unwind.
9. Have regular medical check-ups, take advantage of health screenings and engage in healthy preventive behaviors.

I won’t allow a field of weeds to take over my healthy, positive attitude about aging. I hope that you won’t either.