Conversation with Your BFF: “How Can I Not Feel Drained All the Time?”

As the New Year marches on, you may have been hoping that life would slow down a bit after the holidays, but now you are as busy as ever – being pulled in every way, by everyone. At the end of each day, you have little to no energy, are drained emotionally and mentally, and bedtime leads to making mental notes for tomorrow’s to-do list. I can give my two cents worth on this subject, but friends, I struggle with this, too. So how can you not feel drained all the time? I am so glad you asked!

What Others Think..

The great philosopher, Dr. Phil says, quite often, “You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought of you, if you knew how seldom they did.” Repeat that a few times to yourself, or out loud if no one is close by and listening. It’s really none of your business what others think of you. We tend to make up these elaborate conversations in our heads that we think others are having behind our backs, but if you really knew the truth, you probably rarely enter into their minds. 

What Others Appreciate…

Too much time is spent trying to gain approval from people who really don’t appreciate the effort we put into our actions or comments. You can probably count on one hand, minus a few fingers, those in your life who are truly appreciative of what you bring to their lives. Invest in those people and keep those who have shown you over and over that your efforts aren’t appreciated at arm’s length unless they show new behavior toward you.

What Others Support…

If friends, or those you think are friends, have a pattern of not supporting you and your endeavors, maybe you need to look at those relationships to see whether they are actually in the friends basket. I do believe that friends should tell you if you are making a bad decision, but if that becomes a pattern, unless you really have a problem making good choices, you deserve a ‘tribe’ to support you.

What Brings You Joy…

Too much of our days are spent doing things that don’t bring us joy. The work we do is sometimes just a paycheck and not checking the ‘rewarding’ box in life. Activities that you feel like you have to do, which we all have, may need to be exchanged for those things that bring you joy. A good balance of the ‘must dos’ and the ‘want to dos’ is needed in our lives.

What Others Bring…

Most importantly, don’t spend your time and energy on people who drain your tank. We all have a level of empathy and friends who always seem to be in some sort of drama. You offer to help, a way out, a recommendation, but they continue to wallow in their misery. The only thing changing is your energy level and it’s going down. You can make yourself available to these people, but don’t invest to the point that the change they need is dependent on you. Your peace is important, so focus on what adds to your energy, not things, activities or people that drain your energy tank.


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