I am certain of this: angels are everywhere. In my son’s case, an absolute stranger from a non-profit agency came forward and purchased a laptop for him and went an extra step, securing contractual work as a copywriter for Nils as well.   This was already good  but it got better: she became a mentor – an experienced and trusted advisor who provided guidance, support and advice – at a time when the vocational terrain for my child was rocky and unpromising.  Where he saw formidable challenges, she saw resplendent opportunities.  Several years earlier another angel, in the form of a mentor, crossed his path on a visit to Blacksburg, Virginia, where we happened to be for the purpose of attending a Civil War Weekend at Virginia Tech.  A former professor at that university and a subsequent owner of a publishing company, she encouraged my son to write a book about the American Civil War and saw it through to its eventual publication with her firm.  Jane spent untold hours helping him to format the project, including looking at numerous drawings of Civil War events he had made, dating back to his days in elementary school.  Her advice proved invaluable and she was nothing less than the visionary star by which he steered his literary ship until the book made print.  When she came to pick us up at our hotel, I immediately noticed a bumper sticker on the front end of her car that said “You got this.”  I took that as a direct message to my boy from her, a kind of prescience, although I can well imagine that normal people would have thought me crazy to think so.

I have been fortunate to have had terrific mentors in my own life and firmly believe that anyone can benefit by having one.  Undeniably, there are numerous reasons why mentorship matters.  In the best case scenario, the mentor serves as a role model, leading by example.  Mentors serve to transfer knowledge or skills to the mentee, imparting value and guiding the individual toward a purposeful and empowered life.  The mentor effectively becomes a trusted ally in a reciprocal relationship built on honesty, transparency and respect. A successful mentorship builds social and emotional support, confidence and resilience.  The mentor can help to identify and achieve career goals, increase confidence and offer an objective perspective on challenges and opportunities, while assisting the mentee in staying motivated and focused on learning new skills and improving performance.  At the same time, the mentor, while being someone who has your back, can provide feedback and constructive criticism without worrying whether that commentary might have a deleterious effect on its recipient.

A truly great mentor also teaches the importance of active listening, shares successes and failures from their own journey, and inspires a mentee to go beyond the comfort zone – as the proverbial saying goes – such that one’s “reach exceeds his grasp.”    Another benefit not to be underestimated is a mentor’s possible networking connections in a potential mentee’s field of interest.   I can think of one occasion where one of my mentors helped me to get a job as an administrative aide on Capitol Hill for a then-Senator named Joseph Biden.  At the time, that felt like nothing short of divine intervention!   Although mentors do not generally receive payment for their services, they have the satisfaction of seeing their efforts make a mark upon the world vis-à-vis impressionable minds and spirits.   I think back with special fondness to an early mentor of my own who encouraged me to pursue a writing career because he felt I had a gift. On my birthday I came home to find a book from him on my doorstep: a copy of “Writer’s Digest” and a note appended to it which said “Send me your latest stories – I have plenty of time now to read them.”  He was a published author himself, with many works to his credit, but he never said a single negative or disparaging word to me, instead always expressing faith in my capabilities. A boyfriend at the time however remarked reprovingly “Get a real job, the writing idea is really foolish.”    When I shared the thought which had hurt me deeply with my mentor friend, he said very simply “Follow your own dreams, not someone else’s.”   Very shortly thereafter I made a decision to part ways with my partner who clearly didn’t believe in my aspirations and the possible fulfillment of them, and began to write and publish in earnest – finally out of his dark trajectory of discouragement. Many years later I still send my articles and other creative outpourings to my time-honored mentor, now a famous Stanford university scientist, and feel emboldened by his words to “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams” and not to let anyone “steal your shine.”

Much wiser minds than mine have waxed enthusiastic about the value of having a mentor. A famous English Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli, said “The greatest good you can do for another (is) not just share your riches but to reveal to him his own.”   Oprah Winfrey echoed that sentiment when she said “A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself,” acknowledging Maya Angelou, the poet and author, who inspired her to become a media mogul and use her platform for good.   There are mentors out there everywhere just waiting (and wanting) to be found, through serendipity or intention.  Don’t pass up the chance to put someone’s wisdom in your driver’s seat and get your intellectual and emotional engines going. The mentor-mentee relationship is, as they say,a win-win situation for both.