As I’m sure many Forsyth Woman readers can relate to, one of my favorite post-work activities is a long walk with my closest friends. Not too long ago, the topic of the day was how we each receive motivation. One of my friends has a competitive edge and gains motivation being better than others. My other friend wants to improve from how she did before. I, on the other hand, feel motivation from positive reassurance. In the analogy of a workout class, my first friend works to be better than those around her, my second friend works to be better than she was in the last class and I’m riding the high of the teacher saying “good job, Isabella!” for the rest of the day.
Toxic Motivation
I was scrolling through social media not long after this conversation and saw a video of someone working out. To my surprise, this was not a video of tips and tricks, but rather someone yelling at me to get to the gym. From there, I checked out #ToxicMotivation and #SkinnyTok. Sure enough, there were thousands of videos that existed in a similar capacity – people being mean online to convince others to be healthy.
Stop Yelling at Me, and I’ll Go to the Gym
Initially, I was appalled. In this day and age, how could someone post a video being so mean? To my surprise, the vast majority of the comments on these videos are positive. People in the “Toxic Motivation” community are appreciative of this content, even thanking users for posting. So, does this mean yelling is back? Yelling was standard in previous generations, but this tactic has phased out for kinder methods. Is an old faithful way of getting someone to do something resurfacing as the most effective?
Don’t Make Me Run
Something else I recently considered when thinking deeper into my relationship with motivation is how a negative connotation between movement and punishment has been developed from a young age. Anyone who grew up playing a sport knows coaches threatened punishment with running. To the extent that the colloquial name of a common running drill in athletics is called a “suicide.” How could someone enjoy running if just the name for it is equivalent to death? What kind of harm is caused on a young athlete if excess exercise is only performed as a punishment? On the other hand – it’s effective. Sometimes it takes the threat of running sprints for young athletes to work harder.
Is There A “Right Way?”
On the other end of the spectrum, my brother has been an avid basketball player his whole life (his first word was actually ball). My parents would threaten not to drive him to practice or tell him he couldn’t do his basketball drills until he finished his homework or cleaned his room. Sitting out is punishment for him. Tying this notion back into #SkinnyTok, there may not be a one-size-fits-all way for someone to work harder. I thrive off positive reinforcement while some people prefer competition.
Threatening someone with sprints may work while telling someone else they can’t play at all could get them going.
It would be wonderful if all of us could intrinsically motivate ourselves to exercise and feel proud of ourselves every single day. That is not reality. So, if you need someone to forcefully tell you to get up and go to the gym, more power to you. At the end of the day, what works for someone may not work for others. Admittedly, I was too quick to judge toxic motivation because whatever gets us to move our bodies and value health is the common goal.
