Oh, Rejection, How I Love You!

Let’s be transparent – many of us do not handle rejection well. We get denied a college application, a job promotion, a book deal, or even a date, and we are initially driven to sit alone in a darkened room and sulk. We then wonder why we even tried in the first place and come to some ludicrous “revelation” that we are not good, smart, talented, outgoing, or attractive enough. Rejection is a part of life; it’s inevitable. Avoiding rejection is like trying to avoid death; it’s going to happen eventually. While rejection may sting like a big, scoffing wasp, there are more reasons to embrace rejection than complain about it. There are also ways to cope with rejection in a healthy, productive way.


Look at it in a different way.One popular way to look at rejection is to beat ourselves up for not being good enough to achieve our desired goal. Another positive, way is to see rejection as a way of protecting you from what isn’t meant to be a part of your life. Despite what it may seem like, getting turned down from a job can be a blessing in disguise! What if that work atmosphere was flooded with manipulative coworkers? What if the pay wasn’t sufficient for your lifestyle? What if the hours there kept you from spending quality time with your family? What if landing the job put too much on your plate? There’s always a good reason we’re told no. One of my favorite quotes is “rejection is God’s protection.” So, God is protecting us from some things that will hinder our growth and harm us.

Keep alternative options open.Having a pipedream is not always healthy. Those who have pipedreams are so focused on achieving that one definite desire that they aren’t willing to settle for anything else. And God forbid if they get denied their richest desire. When this happens, they ultimately give up and indulge in unhealthy behaviors, and can even slip into a depression. Therefore, having alternative options is helpful. Don’t settle on one thing too quickly. Sometimes that one thing you desire may not be right for you. Keep those options alive and keep breathing – that way, if you do get denied Plan A, there’s always Plan B or Plan C to explore, and you will likely have more opportunities.

Let it out!Yes, cry or scream if you need to. As I said earlier, most of us don’t take rejection well, and we let out our frustrations. Harboring negative emotions inside destroys our mental and physical health. We are human, and we’re going to feel that sharp pinch at our side. But don’t linger on it for too long. Channel any negative emotions into something positive and creative, like a hobby, passion, or just something you enjoy doing every day.

Keep it moving!Rejection is often another way of saying, “not yet.” Giving up after being told “no” only keeps our feet cemented in one place. We stagnate with the fear of moving forward and being told “no” repeatedly. But every “no” makes us stronger and more determined. Moving forward is therapeutic because being stationary keeps that dark cloud of inadequacy blocking our vision. Moving forward gets us closer to more opportunities that are reserved especially for us.


Makes us immune to the word, “No.”The first time we’re told “no” in our adult life, we go on an overthinking frenzy! “What do you mean I’m not qualified?” “What do you mean you don’t want to purchase this?” The more we hear that dreaded word, the more immunity we build up to it. We become used to it to the point where it doesn’t bother us as much. Sometimes it makes us joyful because we find what we need to improve on.

It’s not the end of the journey. Rejection is simply one of the building blocks of our journey towards greatness. If being denied an opportunity was the end, we would not be alive today. The fact we’re still alive means that there’s something grand waiting for us.

Overall, rejection makes us work harder and become more successful. Success wouldn’t exist without rejection. So, go ahead and cope with rejection and, yes, appreciate it sometimes!



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