During college, when I was not in class with my friends, I was constantly studying, going out and even living with them. It was a bubble of people my age, in similar points of life, wanting to do the same thing. There are few other times of life besides college when everyone has their first experience with true independence and round-the-clock socialization.
After graduation, the contrast is stark. The people I spent every day with now live in different areas and have different schedules. With jobs and the varying lives we live, it can feel difficult to maintain the closeness of friendships we once had.
It’s natural that, as life alters, our friendships change, too, but we made it a mission to not let the closeness we have diminish even if the communication wanes. My friends and I have been strategic in finding ways to maintain our friendships without it feeling like a hassle.
Our Weekly “Podcasts”
A few months ago, one of my closest friends moved several hours away, so our time to see one another in person went from what was already rather infrequent to requiring a weekend trip. A group of a few friends and I began sending weekly “podcasts” to each other. What started as a way to make one friend feel present when she moved has turned into what I look forward to as I start the work week.
On Monday mornings, we all send a voice memo to one another chronicling our past week and upcoming events. Sometimes there’s a lot to say, sometimes very little. We talk about work, family, relationships or even what we’re cooking for dinner that night. Regardless of the significance of what we want to talk about, hearing each other’s voice keeps us involved and present even when we’re living further away.
Girls’ Nights
I love hanging out with my friends and our significant others, but as my friends have started moving in with partners, prioritizing time solely with friends feels important.
With some of my friends, because we live such separate lives, we have to plan girls’ nights months in advance. Nonetheless, they are great ways to see each others’ new homes and spend quality time together. A few months ago, I hosted a brunch at my apartment and, before that, we went to dinner at my other friend’s house. Girls’ nights are not just for Valentine’s Day or a birthday; it’s fun to host each other and spend quality time catching up.
Walk & Talk
After work, it feels like there is barely enough time to workout, cook dinner and relax before it’s all of a sudden time for bed. Don’t be afraid to multi-task – while driving home, cleaning or working out, I love giving a friend a quick phone call. On the same note, I love when I go on a walk and one of my friends calls me on their walk as well. We both get our afternoon workout in and can catch up. A spontaneous phone call from a friend is always a wonderful surprise.
Maybe we don’t live in the same college apartment anymore and spend our nights watching movies and talking, but that doesn’t mean the friendship has to waver. If we need to be more creative with how we talk, whether it’s podcasts instead of phone calls or photos instead of dinners, it’s not that the friendship is failing, it’s that it’s adapting.
So, when adapting to a post graduate world, be creative; understand that not everyone has the same communication style and recognize how to meet in the middle to find ways so everyone feels valued.
