How to Know the Difference Between a Healthy and Unhealthy Friendship

When I was younger, I was grateful for my friends in school, and I always thought that we would be best friends forever. However, as we grow up and life changes, some of our friendships change. At 24 years old, I have been blessed with new friendships in my life, and I have lost a few. Losing a friendship is never easy, but it is important only to surround yourself with genuine friends. I have come to realize the true difference between a healthy and unhealthy friendship as I have experienced both types. Below, I am going to explain what I believe are qualities of both healthy and unhealthy friendships.

Healthy Friendships 

  • Your Friend Supports You: Being in a healthy friendship means that your friend supports you and is proud of you. Your friend is excited for you when good things happen in your life and sad for you when difficult things happen in your life. Having a friend who is supportive means having a friend who is constantly there for you and wants the best for you in your life. 
  • Your Friend is Trustworthy: It is important to have a friend who is trustworthy which means that your friend is someone that you can trust when talking to, especially if that includes talking about difficult things. You know that your friend is not going to tell other people and will keep what you share with them only to themselves. Also, having a trustworthy friend means that your friend follows through on what they say such as actually meeting you for dinner when you schedule a dinner together. 
  • Moments of Joy & Laughter Are Common: I believe that a sign of a healthy friendship is a friendship that includes plenty of joy and laughter. Being around my best friend is always joyful because we are always laughing which always makes me feel happy. Having moments in friendships where you can just simply laugh and enjoy being around each other is such a joy. 

Unhealthy Friendships 

  • Your Friend is Always Competing With You: Having a friend who is always competing with you and is trying to be one step or season ahead of you in life is not healthy. Instead of feeling supported by your friend, you will feel like your friend is trying to constantly be better than you and have things that you do not have such as getting married before you or getting another degree before you, etc. This friendship is not a supportive one, and it is not healthy to surround yourself with someone who does not want the best for you. 
  • Your Friend is Not Trustworthy: Another sign of an unhealthy friendship is that your friend is not able to be trusted. This could mean that your friend shares your secrets with other people, does not follow through on plans, etc. It is hard to be friends with someone who you are not able to trust. You will never be able to grow in your friendship and have someone to talk to. 
  • Moments of Joy & Laughter Are Rare: As I mentioned earlier, I feel that having joy and laughter are important in a friendship, and if you do not feel joy or cannot laugh with a friend, then that is a sign of an unhealthy friendship. Maybe you cannot laugh because your friend is always complaining, always trying to be better than you or is simply not nice to you. Having a best friend means having someone who you can genuinely enjoy being around. 

I hope that this article will help people see some different qualities of both healthy and unhealthy friendships. When we surround ourselves with genuine friends, we feel better and experience more joy versus being in an unhealthy friendship. It is sad to me that sometimes our friendships change and go in different directions, and we can still talk to friends who we are maybe not as close to anymore; but it is important to spend time with friends who are there for you no matter what. 

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