I had someone ask me how you lost your brother and grandma within months and still seem to grow a company…
I laughed because these moments made me who I am and allowed me to see all the infrastructure and systems work that I put into place.
It’s never anyone’s plan to lose loved ones, but I’m sorry to say it will happen to us all. Grief is more than losing someone; it’s the loss of anything. The loss of yourself as you embrace motherhood, the loss of something, the loss of people. The loss of your youthfulness as we age. It’s just grief.
This is what it looks like.
Growing through grief…
It’s messy. Sometimes ugly crying.
Taking one step at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time.
It’s unpredictable.
It’s growing and learning to keep living, and I mean just that – living.
I want you to take a moment as you read this blog to think about what that means to you.
Is that a bucket list item?
Is that opening that company?
Is it taking that trip across the country?
I’m determined to show my team and others that you can be human, life happens and, especially as mothers, no more choosing what takes priority. If a company doesn’t have a culture that embraces the unseen, the life changing moments, then they have dehumanized people and unreal expectations.
Here are a few things to do when you are grieving the loss of anything:
- Get the help you need. Whatever that looks like! Being strong…what is that? I often say if you don’t have a counselor…what is wrong with you?
- Give yourself grace and remember you are not alone. Grief can make you feel like you are drowning with no life jacket in reach, so I’ll just say it…get your damn life jacket! Don’t allow the thoughts and narrative you play in your head to make you think, “I’m alone” or “I can’t call that friend; they don’t want to hear that.” You don’t know unless you call!
I encourage you to call the friend and say, “Do you have the capacity to handle this?” If they can handle it, great, then talk.”
- Find your safe space. This looks different for everyone, and that’s okay. My safe space was my prayer corner. I wanted to find a way to make sense of it all, and that’s when it hit me. Joy, you think you can control it all, but you can’t! So, what’s that safe space for you? Is it walking and just feeling the wind hit your face? Is it sitting on the ground barefoot to recenter yourself? Whatever it is, find it and be okay going there.
I’m not an expert, just a woman with lived experience with a fight in her soul to make sure others know they are not alone. You have to take care of yourself first to show up for your company! I close with the words of a wise man who lost his life too soon to cancer. Life will not be impeccable; blemishes have created who we are today. So, we put our gloves on, no matter the shape, and fight. Each battle toughens us like leather.
I will continue to fight, Tom!
The journey continues, until next time…
