Everyone deserves peace, respect, and safety in their relationships.
Domestic violence often starts with what seems like small, controlling behaviors. It can escalate over time, becoming a pattern when one partner or family member exerts power and control over another. Unfortunately, it often only gets worse.
“The abuse started with just the push or ‘sit down’ or just a smack in the face,” Lisa* shares, looking down as she remembers.
Her story is similar to many survivors who never thought they’d experience abuse at the hands of someone they loved. “He had isolated me from everybody. There was really nobody that I could call.” Lisa remembers the moment she first heard about the shelter: “I just saw a pamphlet, so I gave them a call, set up a time, and I left. I never went back.”
Stories like Lisa’s are not uncommon; however, it often takes seven times before most leave for good. Exiting the relationship is usually the most unsafe time, and is when the abuser senses they are losing power, increasing danger as they attempt to regain control over their victim.
“He destroyed everything,” Lisa recalls. “But I did it. I bought my first home, and I love it,” she exclaims. “I’ve got two cars in the driveway, and I did all of that, and I’m proud of myself and the things that I’ve been able to accomplish. I don’t know if it wasn’t for the shelter staff, I don’t know if I would be here now.”
As Lisa reflects, she shares that her experience helped her find her inner strength and intelligence, learning through resources like Family Services offer help and support.
“There’s no more survival mode, and everything isn’t just a blur anymore. The fog has finally lifted. There’s no more pending doom. The world has finally opened.”
Thanks to the resources she received, she now feels safe and at peace. “Don’t think 30 steps ahead. Just think one step ahead. Those little baby steps, they really do get you one step closer to where you want to be – and you’ll be ok too.”
If you or someone you know needs emergency help please call 911. For all other domestic violence and sexual assault crisis our hotline is available 24-7 at (336) 723-8125. We are here to support you.
*Not her real name.
