How many times have you been talking to your bestie and said, “I wish I’d known that before…” followed by whatever information you wish you’d had at the time you started dating, got married, took a job, went through a divorce, etc? It’d be nice to have a second go round with the information and experience you have by the age of 40, but unfortunately, that’s not possible. But “are there some solid facts you can know and build your foundation on by the age of 40?” I am so glad you asked!

Are Those Who Left You Really That Important?

I’m not sure why, but we tend to focus on those relationships that fell apart; those people who walked out on us are friends or significant others. We beat ourselves up dissecting why someone left us, was it our fault, could we have changed things? Maybe we should instead focus on those who stuck around; those who saw us at our worst and best and decided that we were worth the time and effort. Give those who gave you their time your time, and stop focusing on those who didn’t recognize your value. Never take those who have been by your side for granted.

Givers Are Usually the Ones Who Lose in the End

In my lifetime, I have seen and personally experienced that people with good hearts that are givers to others will almost always end up losing in life and love. Givers and those with good hearts tend to give more than they receive. We tend to forgive those who hurt us even though we know we deserve better. I’m not saying to change sides and become a taker, because they are truly usually jerks to everyone; so just accept that your heart will be too big for a lot of people and you will get hurt. 

Kindness Isn’t Always the Best Killer

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have heard, “kill them with kindness.” My friend, it has almost never worked. When I laid on the kindness, I was usually hurt more and had more liberties taken with my good heart. Some people just don’t deserve your kindness; maybe try killing them with silence. Life is too short to spin your wheels with people who have it set in their mind that they are never going to like you, and that’s on them not you. When you know you have reached the end of your “kindness rope,” move on! You will have peace through knowing you no longer have to spend time on them.

It All Combines for a Life Lived

For every experience you have in your life, the good and the bad, or not so good, each will combine to get you where you are supposed to be. Every win in life, loss along the way, those mistakes you wish you could change, will bring you full circle. Perfection will never be possible, but you can make changes and see success in life, personally and professionally. Work hard at those things in life that are worth the effort, those people who will never leave your side and learn to enjoy the ride of life and the beautiful journey that it can be when we keep the important things in focus.