We all have had those friends who are good with one liners. In my life, I have heard, “the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason…because you are going forward, not going back!” And, each time I heard that, I nodded in agreement and gave a half-hearted smile and thought, “well, no kidding, and that doesn’t really help right now!” Is there anything we can learn by using that rearview mirror, or should we remain focused on what is ahead, looking out that windshield and just cut ties with what is behind? I am so glad you asked!
One Thing is Sure in This Life…Change
In each of our lives, we have the ability to challenge ourselves, change ourselves many times over in our lifetime and optimize our stories. There seems to be a line between those who thrive after therapy/counseling, changing their coping tools and those who dwell or cling to the negative part of their story, using those tools of personal growth to keep themselves stuck in the path they have been on. Sometimes when we discover something about ourselves, we can turn that into an excuse for why we did something or responded in a certain way to a situation. Personal growth is about you becoming a better version of yourself, not finding an excuse for your behavior!
Gaining Perspective from the Past
Self-reflection is integral in changing your behavior or learning to adjust to a new stage of life, like divorce, death of a family member or any life change that causes you to take stock in your life. With the right timing, context and support, reflecting on past life experiences is proven to help us gain perspective, learn from our past, foster forgiveness, build on our confidence, handle future difficulties and grow personally.
Looking back can have value, but without perspective, you can get stuck in negative thoughts, regret or that bad things will continue to happen and that we, others or circumstances in general are to blame. Checking that rearview mirror and not lingering there is the key, and that is called perspective.
Just Take a Glance, Don’t Linger
Perspective is the difference between taking a look back to our past and getting stuck and staying in the past. We are all wired differently and have our unique set of life experiences which require reflection on the past to move us along in our life’s journey.
We don’t need to examine every detail of our past or completely ignore it to improve and change our future. Having healthy personal growth requires us to widen our perspective, seeing our past, present and where we want to be in the future, in how we have made it thus far and how we have grown personally. It is also important to surround yourself with people who can help keep you focused on moving forward in life and not continually referencing your past. Positive people who, themselves, are moving forward are the best friends you can have to help you to live a vibrant and forward focused life.