If you are a New Year’s Resolution person, you are probably working on either better diet choices, getting back to the gym, spending more time learning a new skill, or maybe making your relationships with family, friends, and significant others better than they have been in the past. But what can you do to connect better with those that mean the most to you in 2023? I am so glad you asked!
Listen to Learn, Not to Pounce!
Most of us, when in a conversation, don’t really focus on what the person is saying to us, but instead we are ready to pounce with our answer or rebuttal. We don’t listen to learn of the other person’s perspective, but we ready ourselves to share our side often before the other person has even finished talking. When someone answers your questions partially, wait. Don’t interrupt as they finish their thoughts and take a needed breath. Give them the respect you would expect for yourself.
The Sweetest Sound in the World
While many things may divide us these days, most agree that the sweetest sound in the world to us is someone recognizing us and saying our name. To make a positive impression on someone and let them know that you care, learn their name and use it in any discussion you have. They will feel that not only do they matter, but what they say matters, too.
Character Is Everything
It is true that you can’t judge a book by its cover and you can’t judge people by the way they look or any other superficial aspect of them. To judge character, notice the way someone treats another who can’t do anything for them. In relationships, we all, no matter your status in life, deserve respect and to be treated like you matter, because you do!
You Can Share Too Much!
If you are negotiating with someone, whether a minor or major issue, after you state your position, wait for a while. You may have a bit of time on your hands, but you can overstate and push a point past a possible understanding or a place of meeting in the middle. If you continue to speak, you are usually not making any points or swaying anyone to your side of understanding.
Everyone’s Favorite Subject
If you are trying to establish a relationship or patch a damaged one, talk about the other person. Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves. People like to share with you things that are important to them, or accomplishments in their lives. Knowing that you care about them could be the turning point in connecting with someone and improving a relationship or making a new friend.
If There is a Reason, Things Make More Sense
If you are asking someone for a favor, always use the word ‘because,’ no matter how simple the reason is for asking for the favor. The word ‘because’ makes a person think it must be okay to consider the favor because there is a reason. In a crazy world, reason still makes us feel like there is an order to things and it is important to give reasons whenever you can.
An Ultimatum is NEVER Good
I can’t think of a single time when someone gave me an ultimatum that I said, ‘Absolutely, sign me up for that!’ An ultimatum makes people feel like they’re backed into a corner and that’s a bad place to be yourself or to put someone else in. Instead, when you want to get something from someone, frame your request as an offer or an opportunity instead of a request or ultimatum. People are more likely to accept an opportunity than they are to submit to an ultimatum.
