Moving on from a relationship of any kind is one of the hardest things to do in life, even when we see the red flags and all the signs that the time has come to walk away. But, if you are anything like me and my BFFs, a checklist on what to do to move on may help you in making the decision. So, “how can I know that a relationship has run its course?” I am so glad you asked!
Handle Things That Are in Your Control
No matter how much you wish you could, you cannot control how another person feels and loves. Just because someone fails to see your worth as a person, as a friend or as a romantic partner, it doesn’t make them a bad person and it doesn’t point to you being unlovable. It simply means, longterm, they are not meant for you.
Your Happiness Has Nothing to Do with Another Person
Only you have the power to make yourself happy. If you need to, repeat that several times as you look in the mirror. You know what you can and cannot put up with, and you’re only hurting yourself in the long run by putting up with the things that are tearing you down emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. You deserve better and, deep down, you know it!
Not Everyone Can Be Part of Your Next Chapter
Growing goes on throughout our lives, and it can be uncomfortable, but you have to go forward, even if you only take baby steps. You can’t carry everyone and everything into your next chapter; if you could, it really wouldn’t be the next chapter of your life and story.
Don’t Look at Starting Again as Having Failed
If we didn’t know and recognize what failure looked like, would we really be able to appreciate success and evolve as a person? The answer is no. Too many people look at divorce as a failure, when it can really be coming to know yourself better, realizing that your needs aren’t being met and that that person is not meant to go your entire journey by your side.
Closure Isn’t a Prerequisite to Moving On
Unfortunately, that elusive thing we call “closure” doesn’t always come when we want or expect it. Closure is one of those things we search for, yet it usually comes when we least expect it or aren’t even looking for it. I have found that sometimes closure finds you simply in the way you decide to move forward; getting all the answers to your questions of why a relationship ended may never come and you can’t put your life on hold for answers.
Stop Looking for Love and Validation in All the Wrong Places
From an early age, we tend to shape our vision of ourselves around how others see us. It’s just how we are and it may take many years to let go of letting others dictate how we see ourselves. Look inward for the love and validation you need to see your worth. Not everyone sees you for the valuable person you are in a relationship.
I’ve had to focus on the fact that just because I let someone go, that doesn’t mean I don’t love them or my feelings are gone for them; it does mean that I love myself enough to know I want to become the better version of myself, and being without them is part of that process.
