I may be in the minority, but up until recently, I was under the false pretense that I had “all the time in the world” to think about retirement, or a life where joints hurt, health declines and I become one of the older employees at a company. Seeing a wave of newly hired 20-somethings enter the office and forgetting for a split second that you’re no longer one of them feels like a slight punch in the gut. It carries the capacity to make you question your life choices – past, present and future.

Of course, 21-year-old Amy deciding what she wanted to study in graduate school was under the assumption that she would be thriving, definitely married by now and would navigate a linear path to success since she followed the standard formula of staying out of trouble, excelling academically, attending college and pursuing an advanced degree. I hate to break it to that sweet, naïve version of myself, but she is not working in the field of her advanced degree, nowhere close to being married and is only sometimes thriving (when it’s sunny and 85 degrees outside and the apartment complex pool isn’t overrun with children splashing mid-morning). I’ve been hearing people talk a lot recently about major life changes, pursuing their goals and making moves across the country, and I started to realize that I was following a less-than-optimal formula by staying in my comfort zone while others are shaking things up and making things happen.

I’m going to go after what I want (whatever that really is), and it has to be now. I’m still young(ish), I still have my health (well – my physical health, that is) and I am still fortunate enough to have the freedom to pick up and move or make decisions without inconveniencing a spouse or children. It’s almost like I’m learning how to dream again. I’ve been asking myself about what I really want for the rest of my life. Do I want to be content and in my safety bubble where I am comfortable but not fully alive? Do I want to try something new, put in the effort necessary to drastically improve my quality of life and figure out what the rest of my life needs to look like? How many more nights am I going to rot in front of my laptop asking ChatGPT to analyze my life, when I could be out there creating a new life that I claim to want?

Change is inherently uncomfortable, but sometimes, a swift kick in the butt is just what’s needed to get you out of your rut. I believe God has been dropping nuggets of hints my way by surrounding me with so much chatter about others’ career improvements, moves and major life changes in order to plant the seed of desire in me to go out and find it myself. Truthfully, I loathe taking big risks. I know risks are imperative and unavoidable for the most part, but avoiding risks is what is keeping me small.

When you still feel young and nothing really hurts when you move yet, it’s easy to feel like life isn’t going to pass you by and that you have time to waste. However, as reality has started setting in over the last year, I feel myself hitting a breaking point – I either go after what I want and do what it takes to make it happen, or I settle for an unfulfilling life and sell myself short. No one is coming to save me; I have to work through the fear and persevere for the good of my future and mental health.