I’m writing this article a little more than a month before I depart for a solo trip to the Island of Hawaii. I’ve been trying to make it to Hawaii for years but have tended to back out or choose another destination instead due to the daunting, lengthy flights from North Carolina to the middle of the Pacific Ocean – in addition to the high prices of food and accommodations that accompany traveling to paradise. As I’ve been planning this trip at 33, it’s humorous to look back on trips I planned in my 20s and how my priorities have shifted (for the better). Traveling used to be the reason I woke up in the morning. If I were planning a trip, my life revolved around it for months, and I was obsessed with fine tuning details to make it as ideal as possible. Even though that part of me still exists deep down, it’s become more muted as I’ve gained more perspective and have lost my rose-colored glasses with age.

I’m still single, and I’m still traveling solo, but I’m no longer heading to a destination in hopes of having a Lizzie McGuire moment and riding on the back of a Vespa hoping to find the love of my life in Italy. I’ve learned with (unfortunate) experience over the years that compatibility and shared values are the glue of a relationship – not the excitement or spark of a hot Italian man with an accent who knows how to charm hopeful American tourists. Perhaps I’m just a little more jaded, but I no longer budget for nights out at bars hoping to meet the love of my life on vacation. I don’t plan on staying out past 8:30 p.m. in Hawaii and, as a matter of fact, I’m not even packing high heels. My heart’s desire is as simple as finding an oceanfront restaurant, eating fish tacos in denim shorts and a tank top, and walking to find a coconut-flavored shaved ice after dinner before heading back to my condo and watching YouTube for the rest of the evening. 

Although my generation is still tightly wound up in the social media web of comparison, with many trips under my belt that were taken with iconic photos in mind, reactions from good photos are fleeting. I don’t feel as much pressure heading into my Hawaiian vacation to impress followers. In fact, I anticipate this trip to be quite boring – in the best way possible. I have no desire to push myself to go on long hikes just to say I did. If I want to lay out on a beach all day and keep my phone in my bag safe from sand and sea turtles, I will do that. I don’t need to go to a national park just for bragging rights if I’d rather drink an iced coffee and take a walk around town instead. Of course, I still hope to snag a few good pictures here and there, but the sights I plan to see are to primarily please my own eyes before the eyes of others.

When it came to packing in the past, making sure I was as fashionable as possible and brought any cosmetic product I could ever need was imperative (even while backpacking around Italy with no checked luggage). While I still want to look nice, I’m not going to invest in a cute airport outfit this time around; instead, I’m wearing something I already own that is comfortable and won’t ruin if I spill coffee and Biscoff cookie crumbs all over it (as one always does on a plane). I have yet to meet any eligible bachelors at the airport thus far, and I don’t foresee it happening at 6:30 a.m. this time around either. Mascara, lip gloss and a travel-size perfume are about the only cosmetic items I will need on an island, which leaves more room in my liquids bag for lotions with aloe that I will desperately need after hours in the sun.

If you had told 25-year-old Amy that she would soon be passing on the heels and bar hopping for early-bird dinners and nights free of searching for a male suitor, she wouldn’t believe you. However, with time and perspective, I’ve learned that all that glitters isn’t gold with travel, and that no matter where I travel, I’m still stuck with myself. Traveling isn’t the magic pill I once thought it was. It won’t solve all my problems; it’s simply a temporary escape. No amount of likes on a photo, bronzer on my face or vodka sodas with strangers are going to fulfill me. What’s more fulfilling while traveling is spending time in nature, taking it easy and realizing that it’s just a vacation. The life that exists outside of my one week away is where my main focus needs to be, and a trip is simply an addition to that life that I am lucky to take.