photos by: JODIE BRIM CREATIVE
Sprinting toward the checkout, I flung my items on the counter. I concealed my hurriedness, exchanging pleasantries with the lady at the register. She scanned my signature then peeped back at me. “I know you. I read your articles in Forsyth Woman.” Before I could express gratitude, a former gym acquaintance approached. The friend graciously shared good reports he’d received about our ministry. Within minutes, everyone standing near the front of the store overheard the conversation. I couldn’t help but stand a little taller and smile a little bigger. Then, it happened.
Right in the middle of the generous exchange, the sales lady interrupted the chat. “I’m sorry ma’am, but your credit card has been denied.” Stunned, I muddled, “Please slide it again.” Once more, she announced that the company declined credit.
My insides balked, but I remained calm, explaining the impossibility of this predicament. “I just used this card earlier today. Besides, we faithfully pay our balance in full each month. There’s no way they denied my credit.” The patient clerk hurdled the awkwardness, then kindly asked for another form of payment. As I reached for the debit card, my peripheral view spotted the line forming behind me.
That’s just great! The same folks who, only minutes ago, heard people bragging on my good name hear, in the next breath, that I have no good name!
I stomped to the car, then sank into my seat. Humiliation and shame lurked. (Ok, a little rage, too). I’ve lived my whole life believing integrity is more than an accessory. It’s essential! No matter your talents, education or income, being a person of your word matters substantially more. (I have my parents to thank for that wisdom.)
As I hustled to meet my husband for dinner, I phoned the company. I skipped pleasantries this time. After my emotional inquiry (ok, so it was a rant), the gentleman conveyed that the post office reported my bill as undelivered. He explained, “It’s standard procedure to freeze the card.” At this point, I’m freaking. “You mean you tarnished my credibility because of someone else’s mistake? What’s more, you didn’t consider contacting me before you froze it?”
By this time, mascara streaked my cheeks. My daddy’s words reverberated in my ear, “All you’ve got is your name. Be a person of your word.” No matter how the credit company attempted to redeem the mess, folks in that store wouldn’t forget the stain on my name.
The ordeal gnawed at me for days. Finally, the One who loves me in spite of myself got my attention. God’s whisperings to my soul abruptly halted my self-righteous mantra. What am I doing? I obsess over someone discrediting my name, yet I proceed without pause when people dishonor God’s Name. To make matters worse, I’ve been that person, tainting His reputation.
How many times have I said or done something that contaminated the credibility of the One who generously gives me everything I possess?
I engage people every day who loathe even the mention of God. Such disdain stems from a misrepresentation of Jesus at some point in their journey. There’s no other way to explain the disengagement. Once you authentically encounter the true essence of this Faithful Father, it’s impossible to walk away uninterested. IMPOSSIBLE!
I left those moments with God asking myself, “If someone’s perception of Jesus is based solely on my representation of Him, how do they perceive this Lover? “Does my life brag about the One who matters most? Does my journey boast about this God who makes me feel like I matter most?
Certainly, integrity is essential, but it’s not so that people will think well of me. It’s so they will think well of Him! I’d rather brag about His Name all my days than live an empty life advertising my own. If I succeed at the things that don’t really matter, it’s not success at all. Lord, soak my soul in that which matters most, and help me trust You to take care of the rest.
For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at HopeCommunityChurch.tv.
