We all know selfish people, and maybe you are one, but usually that’s a trait that you don’t detect in yourself. In general, selfish people are those who only think about their own wants and needs, disregarding the feelings or wishes of others. This can lead to a lack of empathy and create tension and unhappiness in relationships where it is present. But, is there a way to detect selfish tendencies in people before they take advantage of you? I am so glad you asked!
Decisions Without Considering Consequences
Selfish people often make decisions without considering how their choices affect others. They prioritize their wants, needs, goals and outcomes with no thought to others. Most of us learn to weigh how our choices in life not only affect us, but may bear consequences to others, as well. Very few of the decisions we make in life don’t have ripple effects in the lives of others. That’s not to say that you have to do what is best for your growth as a person, but to blatantly never consider others, well, my friend, that is being selfish!
Compromise is Something Others Do, Not Me!
Mutually beneficial outcomes are usually not what a selfish person is interested in seeking. To look for a resolution that benefits both parties takes introspection and agreement on both sides to work toward something with which both people can live. When you’re selfish, thinking about another person’s perspective is not on your radar.
Do Unto Others As You’d Have Them Do Unto You…Yeah, Right?
If you are expecting a selfish person to return a favor, you might not want to hold your breath on that one! Now, I don’t suggest doing things for others in expectation of it being reciprocated, but you don’t want to constantly be reaching out and using up your time and energy if you know you would never get the same. There is a level of appreciation and respect that selfish people lack, and if you choose to help someone you know is focused on themselves, just don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed.
Do They Check On You As Much As You Check On Them?
We all like it when our friends check on us, especially when we are going through a hard time. A quick text, a call, an email or a handwritten note or card can change a person’s day. Just knowing that you crossed someone’s mind means so much. If you continually check on someone, and when you need them, connecting rarely happens, you are dealing with a selfish person. For some reason, it’s just not in their DNA to check on others, but you can be sure if you don’t keep in touch with them, they will not be happy. If you are going to have a selfish person in your life, you just have to accept that you are not going to be a priority in their life.
Saying “Thank You” and Being Thankful Aren’t Priorities
Most of us can find at least one thing to be thankful for every day, but selfish people base their thankfulness on how situations turn out or how people respond to their needs. Anything outside of what benefits them just isn’t on the radar of what to be grateful for.
If someone in your life has any of these red flags of displaying selfish tendencies, it may be best to end the relationship with them unless you can truly turn a blind eye to their behavior. Being dismissed over and over can take a toll on you and eventually ruin the relationship anyway.
