Keeping It Real: Moving Past The Past

What do you dream for your children? Notice that I didn’t ask “if” you imagine greater for them, because I know you do. In this heroic mission of molding other human beings, we innately want more for our sons and daughters than got handed to us.

These miniature versions of us hold the most vulnerable pieces of our heart, don’t they? We do our best to prepare them for life’s inevitable curveballs. We seek to provide advantages for them. We persist in the hope that they will run strong, unhindered by the weights that slowed us.

Stay with me for a minute.

I recently heard the story of Missy, a loving beagle who won the affection of her owners the moment they laid eyes on her. Their hearts danced to discover that Missy carried babies in her belly. This pregnant snuggle-bug found her haven. Her new family found their prize.

One sultry summer day, Missy darted through the yard toward her owner as he mowed. Before he could react, she scuttled too close to the mower blades. In a horrific blink, the precious pooch laid lifeless, much of her hind legs severed.

Panicked, the family swooped their furbaby into their arms and sped to the vet. They wondered, would Missy live? What about the puppies?

After heart-wrenching hours, the doctor announced that both this sweet girl and her babies were out of danger! But, the family asked, how would Missy ever walk again? The doctor explained that while Missy would carry the consequences of this trauma for the rest of her life, she would eventually adapt, finding a way to get around.

Sure enough, Missy eventually mustered the strength to toddle on those stubs. It was the strangest sight. Bizarre, I tell you! Missy’s wounds mended, but the way she walked forever revealed the repercussions of her trauma.

The happy day arrived for the puppies to make their debut. Everyone fretted that the babies might have suffered consequences from the accident. But to their delight, every one of those puppies arrived healthy, showing no harmful effects whatsoever. The family breathed a sigh of relief. Celebration erupted at the hopes of the baby beagles’ bright futures.

Within days, these sweet pups pulled away from their mama’s breast to take on the world and find their cadence. Gratefully, each of these little ones walked with strong, healthy legs, except that every one of them…

…walked just like their mama.

Do you see? Our children…the miniature versions of ourselves…they watch how we walk. If we carry unhealed wounds in our soul that keep us limping through life, they will too. They may not even know the reason for their limp. They carry no recollection of our trauma. They simply sustain scars—our scars—that leave them limping when they were created to run.

I don’t know what wounds you carry in your soul, but I do know you love your children too much to watch them bear the burdens buried deep within you. I am not dismissing the severity of your suffering. I’m simply saying you have allowed that anguish to occupy valuable space in your life far too long.

If you will not move past your past for your sake, then move forward for the benefit of your children and your grandchildren. No matter how gargantuan you dream for them, in the end, that won’t be what matters most. In the end, what matters most will be how you walk; because, parents, in the end . . . they will walk just like you.

For comments or prayer, contact Dr. Lanier at


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